this is my first webpage! it's a simple page put together using HTML.
one day, this website will look much nicer! for now, while i'm still learning HTML, i wanted to plonk something on my page so it's not totally empty. excuse the mess!
also, my name is Finn!
today, 10/3/24, i just felt like sharing a little bit more about why i want to make a webpage like this. i have always loved the webpage format like this, and growing up, i loved finding weird little pages and flash animations and the like. by the time i was old enough to really understand it all, it was long gone. lost to an age of social media, news outlets, online shopping, the like. it's all so exhausting, so overstimulating. i had long since forgotten the little webpages of my youth, and i fell into the same grind we all seemingly have: wake up, scroll, go to work, scroll when it's slow, come home, scroll between youtube videos or netflix shows, scroll between each bite of dinner, scroll to fall asleep, be depressed about it all, repeat. i couldn't take it anymore. i'd fallen into such a deep depression, one of the worst of my life. i had lost any kind of outlet to be creative, i had lost my optimism, i had lost any hope. i can't survive without hope and optimism--quite literally, and when this site is fully built, i'll get into that--and i had to change that. i cut out all social media and news from my life, and i've been significantly happier. i still hear about important events around the globe, i still get funny memes, but it's so much more personalized. it's memes my friends think to send me, news my family deems important enough for me to know. my optimism came back, i feel more hopeful about my life and the state of things in general. but i still didn't really have that creative spark back. i was still unsure of how to express myself.
and then i remembered silly little webpages! and now here i am! i learned to do basic HTML in three days, and every day i'm at work, i'm thinking of how i'm gonna build my webpage. and when i'm home making dinner, i'm thinking about what i'll put on my webpage! i haven't been so excited about a project in a very long time, and that's exciting! it's so exciting to see this little webpage, and see the code written behind the scenes in notepad, and think "this is mine. i made it with my own two hands!"
it's my own little place, my own little home. i'm not so worried about people seeing this site. i don't really care if people interact with it. i hope that if someone does stumble across it, they think it's nice, but it doesn't validate my experience. I do. i look at this little webpage and think that it looks pretty nice! and that's enough for me. i've never been all that worried about likes or impressions or anything like that, but the way social media passively influences you does really start to wear on you, and make you severely worry what people think of you, and how many people are laying eyes on your creations. frankly, though, i honestly kinda hope nobody finds this site! if nobody looks into this little space i've created, i would still be just as content as i'd be if the whole world unanimously agreed that my site is the coolest site on the world wide web. that'd be flattering, but it's not what i'm here for. i'm here for typing in some HTML and watching the page print before my eyes, and looking pretty to me, in a way no other webpage has ever looked before. :)
